An open letter to the BAR GIRLS at EKO Hotel and Suites Lagos

MyPenMyPaper
http://mypenmypaper.wordpress.com

 

Bar Girls,
Eko Hotel & Suites
Kuramo Waters,
Victoria Island, Lagos
http://www.ekohotels.com/

 

It’s the third time within 12-months that a foreigner staying at the Eko Hotel and Suites would ask my opinion about the ‘do you want company’ products and services of all you bar girls parading around at Eko Hotel and Suites.

I call you ‘bar girls’ coz that’s what my informants call you, besides you are always found at the Eko Hotel bar. I am going to send the URL of this post to your EKO Hotel Management, and I hope they take time to read and take immediate action. Unfortunately, you bar girls are destroying the reputation of Eko Hotel.

———————————————————-

Whoever these girls are, I don’t know, but the following information are gathered from my informants:

• They are always seen at the bar, the same girls every night, the same set of faces. My informants all suspect they(girls) are employed by the management of Eko Hotel as waitresses, etc., but that these girls are taking their employments a level further by asking Eko Hotel customers(especially men) if they themselves (girls) could be company to the guests. ‘Sir, can I be company with you in your room?’ Whatever that means, my weblog is not the place to explain details.
• Due to their persistence, besides as ‘all of them use the same lines’, my guys so far feel that these girls are deployed at Eko Hotel to extort money and valuables from foreign men, especially now that the gap between the US dollar and Naira has increased.
• One recently informed me: ‘you know these girls look like carriers’. Until then, it never occurred to me that I myself could not identify a carrier. Perhaps my guy has a lot of experience working with HIV people especially in Africa, …..AIDS CARRIERS……was what he referred to. As we talked, I remembered the advert which says ‘Aids no dey show for face’, but all the same, I tried to wonder how my guy came to the conclusion, after looking at you girls head to toe. Shame.
• The first port of call on my mind was whether these girls are over-Lepa-to-the-bone, such that the word sexy has been replaced with bony. I wondered what kind of topless, sleeveless, bottomless, armless blouses and minis these girls must be wearing, and isn’t it shameful if the mini is seen dangling around your hip-bone, instead of around your waists. Please go to the nearest mamaput, and devour bowls of Amala, Pandi, Eba. Eat good food and put on some weight, perhaps you’ll be more marketable.
• All the same, dear girls, with all of you looking like carriers, your proposals to spend the night with your Oyinbo customers does not carry much weight, no wonder my guys just amuse themselves by looking at you, pitying you and wondering all the AID Relief Funds from Europe and America are going to…these girls must be sick mehn….No wonder the whole of the Western world wants to help Africa. See I had to quickly change the topic the conversation with my guy was about going into the ‘how many people have aids in Africa’ discussion. Whatever you are carrying, abeg, carry it out of Eko Hotel o.
• And the Eko Hotel of all places, I’m surprised. Shame. If these guys told me they went out boozing somewhere in Mushin or Ikeja, I would have asked them straight up: what were you looking for? But right there in Eko Hotel, all-night room service, hhmmm, I’m surprised what Nija is turning to.

See, one of my guys told me of how he called one of you to come closer for a chat, of how you had cat-walked like a model even though it was but a few steps, he told you his name and asked for yours. He also asked if you wanted to ‘fcuk’, and that whoever he spoke to looked so surprised after hearing the word ‘fcuk’. His first impression was that you were underage. My guy had to ask me what the meaning of the word is in local lingo just in case you didn’t understand English. I laughed and tears came out of my eyes. Anyway, I grabbed the opportunity and told him that you Leparized ladies didn’t know how to do such things, that you were all innocent kids, and that all you were looking for was fast-money, dollars and pounds-sterling (as there is an economic depression, with the US dollar at NGN165.00); that he should be careful coz you are all thieves and what you want to do is to steal their passports and other valuables.

Please makeunanovex, I was just trying to save your asses..wrong…noses.

Dear girls, the only thing I know that is a do or die affair in Nigeria is politics, not a xes bout all night long. So please after asking someone ‘do you want company, and he doesn’t answer you’, especially as they are Nigeria first timers (they already have a lot of bad impressions already), please leave them alone’.

 

warm regards,

MyPenMyPaper

 

p.s Its only God that saved you carriers. I asked him if he took any pictures, unfortunately he didn’t. I wouldn’t mind to have used a picture or two to grace this post.

 

———————————————————-

mypenmypapertionary:

• Lepa / Leparized – Thin women. Fat women are called ‘Orobo
• Makeunanovex – don’t be angry
• Mamaput – local restaurant / eatery
• aids no dey show for face: AIDs doesn’t show on the face
• Amala, Pandi, Eba – Nigerian foods
• my guy – my friend, the person I was talking to, etc
• Mushin / Ikeja – Places in Lagos
• Nija – Nigeria

 

Technorati Tags: EKO Hotel and Suites,bar girls,hotels

Posted in: entertainment, general info, Lagos, Nigeria, thoughts, travel, women