what is the difference between Madonna and the typical Nigerian woman

Posted on April 13, 2009

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I beg your pardon for the title, before you carry your salu-bata and slap this weblog into oblivion.

The talk is about Madonna, mind you, she’s not the only celebrity that is investing in Africa in terms of international child adoption. This is soon to become a formalized business, and in the next couple of years, our exported kids might become rappers, singers and international celebrities in their own rights, all with a very damaged view of Africa. See, even if you don’t know where Malawi is on the world map, by the time you search for the word ‘Madonna’ on Google, Malawi will pop up somewhere, and you’ll make the connection in no time.

I honestly wonder what Madonna wants to achieve by adopting Malawian kids. I asked a colleague of mine and he joked: ‘maybe Madonna was originally from Malawi…..home is where the heart is’. I thought for a minute if she could be black under her white skin.

Are there no poor, hungry, naked and disadvantaged American / European kids that Madonna can adopt – even if the kids belong to a newly arrived illegal immigrant? Is every American child in school already? are there no beggars there? does every child have a home, good parents, toy cars and dolls, more than enough food to eat? doesn’t any child need help in America? are there no sick children that need free medicare? Why does Madonna have to cross the whole world to find a little black boy that needs help, and in Malawi for that matter? While she points at others, are her other fingers not pointing back at her?

If I was an American kid that needed a good home, won’t I accuse her of neglecting me and going to Africa to help someone else? first, to add insult to the injury? where is the American Nationalistic Pride and love for man and country? even if she cannot help black American kids, how about the whites?

p.s: I’m not hating, I’m just trying to put myself into someone else’s shoes. And just like a lot of others have been / are still saying:

 

0,,5285580,00I understand that fingers are not equal, but by the time you compare David’s pic(left: David with Madonna’s husband) to the one on this post (a naked child sucking his mothers breasts), we might as well give Madonna a thumbs up for her act, and even a PhD degree to boot.

I understand there are poor people everywhere, but does one good deed deserve another?

Now, let me get to my main talk for this post: what is the difference between Madonna and the typical Nigerian woman?

I asked a friend if it was possible for a Nigerian married Yoruba woman to go and adopt a total-stranger-child who is of, for example, Ibo origin. he said “No, such ‘would first’ try to adopt a Yoruba originated child, especially if such is a near/distant relative”. I asked ‘why’, and then he began talking in the tribalistic ‘help your own people first’ line. My friend (CK) is of Ibo origin. He also informed me that an Ibo couple/woman would prefer to adopt an Ibo-origin child first, rather than a total stranger yoruba/hausa/another tribe child etc. Can we take such an attitude to be generalized in every hook and corner of Nigeria? maybe Yes.

I had to ask CK who he thinks the average Nigerian considers ‘his people’: is it anyone called a Nigerian or someone specific from the same tribe? The latter(same tribe) was the unfortunate answer.

Then I asked if it was possible for this Nigerian woman to go to other African countries and adopt children. He again started in the ‘what would people say’ line etc. Ok, what would the people say? ‘They might think you are using the children to make money’ – now thats a problem, isn’t it.

Can we say that Madonna (one among other celebrities in the International Child adoption virtual ring) is doing what the typical Nigerian couple / woman(in this example) cannot do by default? This is harsh, but isn’t it the truth: that this typical Nigerian woman (wife, mother, etc)?,….pls note ‘typical’….. perhaps as a result of cultural, family, societal and religious upbringing and influence, etc, has no time to make primary provision for children that do not come out of her own body? She would strive tooth and nail, endure the hardships of an uncaring husband(if need be), just so that she can have a child of her own – for which she can boast a 9-months-carrying-in-the-womb. And once she has it, once she gives birth to her own child, she feels an all encompassing sense of fulfillment, achievement, and final arrival. She doesn’t care how many children other people have, at least she has one of her own. Mommy would love and care for her own child and could go any length to ensure the welfare of ‘that child’ that came out of her womb.

And should mommy have a house help (boy or girl who could be a relative or total stranger), won’t it be very easy to identify who the house-boy or house-girl is? The physical appearance of the house-help spells the first difference. While junior is served a bowl of rice and meat, the house-help receives half a plate of rice with no meat. The struggle continues, until Junior begins to feel he is a human being and the house-help an unfortunate soul.

Madonna must surely feel a passion to help someone who cannot repay her, for her to step outside American shores to adopt Africans. It must be a sense of fulfillment that drives her to do what people might generally consider odd in her adoption endeavors? Or perhaps she has a vision for Malawi that others don’t have, including Malawi itself.

And what of the Nigerian woman, wife and mother. Can she choose to help someone who cannot say thank you? someone with no means to do her a re-favor? can she be so into something that goes against what people would say? will the definition of ‘my son’ or ‘my daughter’ change from the 9-months in my womb status quo?

There are so many lessons to learn in life and are there not so many differences between Madonna and the Nigerian woman?

have your say!

Posted in: Africa, culture, family, Nigeria, question, thoughts, women, world