I had a great weekend, thanks for not asking. And as it rained cats and dogs the whole of yesterday(Sunday), all I could do was sleep, sleep and sleep. Around 9p.m, one of my neighbors wanted to spoil my quiet evening. I was in a not so deep-realm of my sleep, when I started hearing “Back to Sender”, “Back to Sender”, Back to Sender”, “I command you in Jesus name, back to sender, I say back to sender”. The thing went on for about 5-continuous minutes before I became wide awake. At first, I thought it was some prayer meeting, since a Church uses an adjacent compound for their Sunday evening prayer meeting etc., but then I listened closely and the female voice continued: “Back to Sender”, “Back to Sender”, Back to Sender”……
I moved nearer the window of my small parlor and lo and behold, a white colored cat was on the wall, drenched in the rain, and was peering into the window where the voice was coming from. It was looking for shelter, I saw it jump down, and try to hide itself in a spot where it won’t be beaten by rain. There, it continued “meowing” while the back to sender voice continued: “Back to Sender”, “Back to Sender”, Back to Sender”, “I command you, Leave that place in Jesus name”, “I rebuke you in the name of Jesus”,…….
The lady started beating her window panes, hoping to scare the cat away; the poor thing continued its cry, while the lady continued her. Now, when a lady is crying at a cat and the cat is crying back, is this not a funny way to end a Sunday evening? After I watched their act a couple of more minutes, I left the two losers alone and went back to my lazyboy.
Nigerians are a set of religious people. Wherever they find themselves, its God first. Unfortunately, my observation is that the Nigerian profession of “God, God, God”, does not translate into any reality – in this Nigerian environment.
I remember those days in yankee, my dad never failed to comment on the Western ideology of staying home or going camping on Sunday. He would comment:
- the devil of convenience has confused these people, Sunday, the day of God, see how they are misusing it; why don’t these people go to Church on Sunday? you see, its the devil;
- ha, how can someone wake up on Sunday and go to the beach or go malling, On Sunday, the day Jesus resurrected? how can people be so spiritually blind? how can you spend a whole Sunday without praying or going to Church?”.
Those are my dads kinda questions. I used to think that perhaps if those people (those Oyinbo’s) took God more seriously, their lifes would be better, things would change, their country would be better, etc. I actually forgot where I came from. It was as a result of hamburger, fries and ice-cream.
Years later, arriving as a JJC in Nigeria, I saw Churches full every day of the week. In fact, we went to Church very early in the morning just to be able to have a comfortable seat. At first, I was like, why are we rushing to Church? what for? Later, after yankee wiped from my lips and hamburger was replaced with Eba: I was the one saying:
- why are these people so religious?, what are they always praying about?
- why is everybody always in Church: Sunday service, monday worship, Tuesday bible study, Wednesday Prayer meeting, Thursday power night, Friday deliverance night, Saturday special conference, and then Sunday again? The next week, the daily programs are repeated, as if……….are we praying for Nigeria or we are praying for another country entirely, coz by now, Jesus could have answered us.
- In fact, I thought if God would make a choice between Nigeria and America, Nigeria would come first since we went to Church more times in a week than the Oyinbo’s.
Later, I stepped up on my questions:
- why is it that we that spend our entire lives in Church and yes we live in total darkness, no electricity, no water, potholes everywhere?
- with corrupt politicians, armed robbers everywhere, insecurity of life and property, etc, are we serving a different God that those in the West are serving, coz things are way far better over there, and yet they aren’t as religious as we are?
- Or perhaps God is seriously angry with us in Africa in general, and Nigeria to be specific, coz all these Nigerians going up and down from Church to Church, from fellowship to fellowship – are these people not really serving God or just wasting their own time?
- or perhaps still, God is the one wasting our own time?
Some years ago, I watched a movie on the street. T’was a Sunday, Family A was coming from Church, and in their fine-ride. Family B was also coming from Church in another fine-ride. I was in public transport, sitting near the window. One thing led to the other, one car brushed the other. The two husband-men, came out from their cars and started fighting in broad day light. They wore long-sleeves and had a tie, with their suit draped over their seats Even their wives were surprised. It was as if these men knew each other somewhere before, or had something against each other.
And if not for the intervention of by-standers who were shouting at these two men to leave themselves alone, asking them if they were / were not coming from Church, and if the God they were serving didn’t instruct them to forgive each other- especially on a Sunday….., shame caught up with the two street-fighters; they entered their cars and left after abusing themselves. The incident made me to wonder if those husband-men were really coming from Church or perhaps Church had come out from them when they left their individual Churches.
Back to my story: we once had one of our aunty’s come for a visit while we were in Yankee. The summary of her 1-month visit was her shock, total surprise and disapproval that we had 2-cats and a dog as pets inside our house. She said that if these cats were outside the house, it would have been better, but that they were physically inside the house was a total abomination before God and man. She even refused to come out of her room. She could not bear seeing our cats playing up and down our rooms, sitting on the sofa and even sleeping there. After her first 2-weeks, were were all at a breaking point: my dad had to go buy a cage and keep the cats outside; and ask a friend to come and take our dog to their house “until further notice”. For the rest of her stay, I and my siblings were looking at the calendar and counting the date. We were silently singing the “Aunty, please go home to Nigeria” song. The day she left, we were like: thank You Jesus, we’ve got our life back.
I believe that cat and dog stories began flying like wild fire immediately aunty arrived back in Naija. My mom called another of our relatives to say hello some days later, only for the elderly man to question her: “we heard you were now living eating with animals. Do you mean to say that after God has blessed you with Children, those children are not enough, you now adopted animals? If you want to have more Children, sebi your husband is there. Which one is cat? cat ke? cat and dog? Funmi, sey, you have forgotten about evil spirits in all those animals? your children are now sitting together with cats and dogs?”, Just as the elderly man started his lamentation, my mom had signaled to us to lower down the TV volume and she put the phone on speaker so we could listen. The lamentation went on for about an hour, and we had to bury our faces in pillows just to contain our laughter. It was all in Yoruba, and once of the funniest things I’ve heard in my entire life. You can just imagine the yoruba salt and peeper he added to his description. Twas as if thee were 1-million cats and dogs in our house.
I remembered the above and smiled, as I watched my neighbor command a meowing cat in the rain yesterday evening. Unfortunately, even though she commanded the cat in the name of Jesus, it stayed in the shade. Perhaps it didn’t hear? or Jesus was just too busy to listen to her prayers. It made me to wonder what kind of Jesus we serve here in Nigeria? the Jesus that has nothing else to do than to be chasing cats away from the surroundings of his praying Children on earth.
For a while yesterday evening, I wondered if there could be anything called: “God-abuse”. May God deliver us.
Now, its my turn. Back to sender, share your own story!
baebi
August 16, 2010
Love this post! Thank you!
Ok, my story. If memory serves me right, I have only been back to Nigeria once (I think it was a long vacation). This means I’m anglicised beyond recognition and when I attempt to speak Ibgo it’s with the heaviest of British accents (I’m so ashamed).
Anyway, I was visiting my relatives in Lagos when I was woken up in the morning by meowing and an escalating ruckus coming from the living-room. Now I’m not a deep sleeper but I love sleeping and can become comatose for hours on end (20 hours is my all time record), so I buried my head under the pillow and carried on snoozing. Half an hour later, the cat was still meowing but the ruckus had now been replaced with the hum of “holy ghost prayer”. Then it dawned on me:
1) We don’t own a cat and
2) for all their pomp and ceremony, my relatives are “Sunday Christians” if anything at all so there was no reason to hear any kind of prayer in the house, let alone “devil-get-thee-behind-me-prayer”.
I became both curious and slightly worried about the turn of events that had forced my aunts and uncles to their knees (in prayer). Gingerly I tiptoed out of my bedroom and walked silently into the living-room to behold my kin prostrate in prayer rebuking a cat that had “mysteriously” found its way into our house. It had perched on this wooden thing that was built high on the wall (I have no idea how to describe it). Everyone (apart from me) was convinced that they had caught a witch or her familiar and the prayers didn’t stop until the cat was killed. The cat took a long time to die because the location it had put itself in was too high and at an odd angle to kill it with one blow. It was stabbed repeatedly until it went silent then dragged down and stuffed into a plastic carrier bag, which was later burnt.
Me and my oyibo self was mortified! To me there was no mystery because we slept with the windows open and this cat was the right size to get through our window grill. Plus, cats are good climbers and it could have very easily climbed from the curtain railings unto the wooden thingy. I felt so sorry for the cat because had it not have gotten stuck it would have found its way out and escaped. However, what had me totally gobsmacked was the fact that despite all the various sins they had perpetrated it was a lowly, lost, harmless cat that had my relatives screaming “the end is nigh”!
mypenmypaper
August 18, 2010
Baebi,
that must be really awful watching ur peeps kill a cat, as in stab it to death, right in the difficult location it squizzed itself in. I don’t want to ask if its blood was spilling in all in all directions.
Worse, as it took a long time to die, some of your peeps might have been thinking they were really on a good endeavor.
Hey, I usually like asking people their answer to this question: Can a chicken be possessed with a devil? why do we eat Chicken. How about goat meat? why arent goats possessed / why dont we suspect goats of having all sorts of spirits. Is it because Nigerians love goat meat?
Just a thought!
baebi
August 19, 2010
It was icky!! If it was a dog nobody would have given a hoot!
To answer your question – religious or superstitious people don’t likes possessed food. If a culture deems animal A to be evil or unfit, people will shun eating it. I can hear my Gran talking about spirits infiltrating our body through any orifice, mouth included. I don’t think it’s a coincidence African occultists eat certain animal because they believe it will increase their spiritual power.
Personally I have a hard time believing in animal possessions…and HIV being a spiritual attack that can be cured with prayer, tithe and offering.
Dee
November 10, 2010
Hi there. I stumbled on your blog quite by accident while doing an Internet search for a pet store in Lagos. I’m considering buying- you guessed it- a cat!!! I honestly can’t understand why Nigerians have chosen cats as the embodiment of their morbid fear of evil. I mean, we should all to a certain extent abhor all that is evil, but I think Nigerians are in the grips of some kind of powerfully intoxicating frenzy. It’s quite sad, really. They are so busy condemning others for not being gripped with the same frenzy (one of the signs being the daily screaming visits to church) that they are neglecting to do that which is really important. They don’t live each day making sure they do no harm to others, not only with their actions, but with their thoughs and their words as well. This simple undertaking would surely transform the way we live and the welfare of this nation as a whole. So it’s really not about who can shout the Name of the Lord the loudest or the most times in a week. At the end of the day what really counts is what you do and think when noone is looking. Some more food for though.
Now, please wish me luck in my quest to get a cat. Apart from the fact that I love cats, it would come in handy in my war against some pesky rats I have at home! If I do ever get one, I’ll have to make sure I keep it away from neighbours and even visitors, before I’m branded a witch myself.
Kudos on your blog. Keep it up.