Just in case you missed my earlier post about Mr. Emeka who has been in the USA for “donkey years” and yet has not “upgraded himself mentally”, click here to read it first before continuing below.
I promised to continue the story about the “mother of his(Mr. Emeka’s) sons“, meanwhile I heard him talking to someone in Nigeria whom he referred to as “my wife“.
He had introduced me to the so called “mother of his sons”(I call her “Patricia” for this discussion), and immediately, the fact that he didn’t call her “my wife” got me thinking. I brushed off the thought at first.
On another occassion when I was at his house, we were talking…., the phone he was holding rang, he spoke to the person. Sometime later, Patricia came into the study room where we were went like: “sweetie, your wife is on the phone, she wants to speak to you“. Mr. Emeka collected the phone and started talking.
When he finished, he apoligized to me for the interruption in our discussion, and said the person he was talking to was his wife in Nigeria. He must have noticed the immediate “surprised-look” on my face; so he explained that Patricia was the mother of his sons, but that he still had a wife in Nigeria – as if that explanation was really simple to understand.
He didnt mention anything to me if/whether he had any children in Nigeria. He just explained that his wife in Nigeria takes care of some of his bank accounts, and the other accounts by his friends etc. He then talked about himself that he tries as much as possible to live an open life, so even his wife in Nigeria knows that “he has a woman in America who has given him two sons”, and his woman in America – Patricia is aware of his wife in Nigeria.
Patricia is an oyinbo woman, looking late 30-ish, and the eldest of their two kids is 13 according to Mr. Emeka. Doing the math, I concluded that Patricia must have given birth birth to her first child when she was about the age of 25-30; and she and Mr. Emeka must have been together for about 13-years, minimum.
For the rest of that day, I couldn’t get my mind off Mr.Emeka’s “so-simple-way-of-life” in his own perspective. I tried to imagine how he could have explained “his heart” to both of them: Patricia and his wife in Nigeria; and how each of these women felt comfortable knowing there was someone else.
I was particularly bothered that a woman in Nigeria would accept / continue in a relationship, where her husband in America has another wife and she is aware of it. Nut considering that she was his financial manager, I wondered if the fact that she has some money to blow around would make do for her husband in the arms of another woman. Which Nigerian wife would prefer to be left in Nigeria when her husband is living large in America?
I wasn’t bothered about Patricia, since Oyinbo’s are Oyinbos, they can just about live with any situation. Patricia even knew it was Mr. Emeka’s wife on the phone.
And so I ask: what is the difference between MY WIFE and the MOTHER OF MY SONS.?
Regardless of whom he met first, I’m wondering how he was able to explain himself to his 2nd woman.
a) I have tried assuming that Mr. Emeka’s wife in Nigeria is childless and perhaps due to “pressure from her husband”, she just has to accept the fact that there is another woman in the picture – meanwhile she is kept financially stable in Nigeria! – looks well like a Nigerian movie. If this is the case, even if he told Patricia about it, she could have pressured him into Marriage – especially in these days of gold digging weddings, considering that Mr. Emeka was well to do.
b) if Mr. Emeka’s wife in Nigeria has kids, then it would be another ball game all-together.
your comments and opinions are welcome!!!
chrome
June 7, 2012
At least Mr. “Emeka” is resolved somewhat in his (confusing) situation. Here in Jan I have a friend who get wife for Naija and is married to a Jamaican lady (for reasons of “papers” although she looks at it as true love). both women have children for him. The Jamo lady doesn’t know about his wife in Nigeria. How he does it I do not know, but I’ve warned the guy, one day kata kata go burst for his head, Jamo no easy o!