Lagos Accomodation Blues – what is wrong with Landlord’s kids

The above is the question I woke up with this mornng o.

Since I moved into my new pad, my landlord’s kids haven’t ceased trying all possible avenues, opportunities, etc; to get on my nerves, make me feel uncomfortable and somehow unwelcome. I try to be very professional, and not attract undue familiarity. Whether these guys are official trouble makers or just fakers trying out their best on me, I don’t really know. Sometimes I feel I should lash out, slap somebody and let them know that ‘levels have changed’. At other times, I’m like, ‘after you do your worst, you would stop, won’t you?’.

I also wonder if these my landlord’s folks know the definition of ‘customer service’, and ‘good neighborliness’. I won’t say I’m tired of them already, I’m just managing. But if I were in their shoes, I won’t behave the way they are behaving, knowing fully well that this world is actually smaller that it visibly is. I would have tried maintaining a good reputation – making friends not enemies. FYI, my landlord’s kids are students at the UNILAG, thanks to ASUU. One has graduated, but only God knows what he’s up to. I even heard he’s a yahoo yahoo guy. Can you imagine a yahoo yahoo guy living with his own parents?

Up till now, I’ve been sailing above whatever they throw my way: stunts, tricks, traps etc. These have included locking the gate early(6pm),  sweeping their dirt/moving their genset over to my own area of the compound especially when I’ve gone to sleep – thus disturbing me, using my genset cable to spread their clothes, etc.

The other day, I stepped out after dinner to dispose the bones of my consumed fried fish(yes, I cook) into the bin, only to hear some noise, and see some movement(forward and backward) by the side of the house in front. Seeing a faint fleshly figure, and for a second, I thought it was an armed robber trying to enter/exit through the window. I flipped out my torch, shouted ‘who is that’, only for the light from my torch to land on someone’s bare butt. I traced the line of the butt up and down to see the bare leg and back of whoever was there. Going right, I saw his hands on someone else’s waist/butt. I was like…….what the!!!

It must have been when the torch reflected on the floor that Romeo looked back to see himself lighted up. He quickly waved me back, with an “its me, its me”. Unfortunately, I guess I was star-struck to keep the torch in position. The guy, with his hands on the waist of the person in front of him quickly packed further into the darkness. I couldn’t imagine that an adult would actually be making out in standing position outside of his own fathers house, with his folks watching TV inside. Worse, I tried to imagine what kind of girl-friend he had who couldn’t wait to get herself some action in a more formal environment.

The next morning, the guy saw me on my way out. I guess he thought I saw what went down, only for him to tell me some story about talking to a friend of his by the side of the house. I wanted to ask him, ‘you were talking to a friend of yours butt naked?’.

Lagos State – Flood Business is Big Business

 

Everybody show your handwork o,

Plenty plenty work dey for Naija …..

 

Don’t give food to a Lazy man

Lagos Accomodation Blues – I Moved

Eyin people(y’all people), I mentioned that I was moving to a new akomoday(accommodation) sometime ago. I moved two days ago, and mehn, it wasn’t easy.

First, after informing my rented bus-driver of the my new location/destination in Lagos, he had to do a mental calculation of the possible route to take in order to avoid Police and LASTMA boys. Anyway, one LASTMA guy almost disturbed us.

The wahala of trying to put my things in place sent me to tantalizers twice within a couple of hours for food and drink. I’m almost set, in the new pad and officially caught Malaria overnight.

What a way to go!!